Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize