just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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