shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
