sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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