Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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