if you like me you must not know who I am
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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