I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize