So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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