I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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