I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
