Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
