dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
