I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
