that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
