I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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