i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i believe in u and ur pee
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