As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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