spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
