I heard we made out
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
