Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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