I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize