They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
