I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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