Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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