What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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