4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
