Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need water and some morals
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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