1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I touched a dick in church today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
