I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
