I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Drake has all the answers
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize