screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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