i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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