do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize