I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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