I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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