I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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