This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The power of my boobs compel you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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