Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
