Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your cock deserves a montage
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize