So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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