Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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