i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
