Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
