dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
