sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize