Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When are your genitals available?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize