They should really pass out barf bags in church
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize