The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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