the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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