First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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