So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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