Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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