Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
