Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
