I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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