i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize