We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
