A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
