am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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