All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
