dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
