I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
