For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
