We're like a lot better than the average bears
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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