Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
