Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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