Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
