we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize