Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
